Following on, following through

One of the most common flaw made when people are learning to play golf is failing to follow through properly.

‘Following through’ in golf is literally the part of the swing after the club has struck the ball. The ball has, a fraction of a second earlier, gone sailing off into the air, and the club simply continues to swing through empty air.

Yet the fascinating thing about this is that if the follow through isn’t done properly the ball won’t go where it should.

It’s almost a moment from science fiction where a future event affects a current event – time travel on a golf course!

Now if you consider my blog “Ideas are not Enough”, ( http://edenchanges.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/ideas-are-not-enough ) and think about those decisions that you might have considered and even started to take since reading that how many of them have you seen through fully? How many of them have you completed and indeed how many decisions did you miss?

In golf it’s all about intending to follow through, indeed planning to follow through. This affects everything from the players stance, their muscle tension and their mental expectations.

In life it’s the same. Have the intention to see things through, planning to do them completely even when it seems you will be simply swinging through the air and not making a difference. This is what enables people to achieve great things.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

PS I am indebted to a friend of mine James Moorhouse for the ideas that became the article above; thanks James.

PPS The graphic is an example of work by Jules Bonnet. with thanks.

More can be found at: http://jules-bonnot.deviantart.com/gallery

How to Become a Jedi Master Part 2

“The force can have a strong affect on the weak minded”

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Welcome to the second part of the series entitled ‘How to be a jedi master’.

The part one of this series is one of my most popular blogs and I trust that you will find this part equally interesting.

Here’s a thought for you…how powerful would it be if you could perform Jedi mind tricks on the strong minded all the time by making them weak minded when you wanted them to be!

So with that thought in mind let me share with you some of the Power of Possibility and how it can indeed weaken the strong minded!

Consider this next question carefully before reading past it…

“How would it be if this blog could teach you, in the very next paragraph, a technique that you could use to help people overcome their fears and hesitations?”

That question in fact illustrates the very technique that I am looking to share with you. Look at the first part of the question “How would it be if…” that the key phrase. That phrase triggers a mental consideration of possibilities.

And it’s a consideration of possibilities unburdened with judgment. Note I didn’t ask “How good would it be if…” although you can use that if you are trying to positively influence someone.

The first version “How would it be if…” is the cleaner version because it allows a person to contemplate and consider for themselves how something would be. This works in all sorts of situations for example I use it when I train advanced sales techniques!

For those of you who have read the first blog in this series you might remember we had approached a very attractive woman standing at the bar. Using the above phrasing I would suggest that:

After asking “Your favourite drink, what would that be?” then ask

“How would it be if I bought you, you’re favourite drink?”

If you get bounced back try “Well how would it be if we just chatted for a moment or two.”

Make sure she hears the ‘how would it be’ part as it’s the trigger phrase…and I’d suggest some nice open hand gestures to really soften the message…

Now this isn’t a blog about picking up girls in a bar (sorry to disappoint!) so let’s look at another use, something perhaps closer to the good side of the force!

When someone is hesitating to do something because they are afraid or uncertain “How would it be…” can be a powerful force in making them realize that there is an outcome that would be okay. As an example take someone who is hesitating to make a difficult phone call, whether a sales call or a difficult call to a friend or family member:

“How would it be if you did make the call?”

It forces them, whether strong minded or otherwise, to consider the possible outcomes. And what’s powerful about that is that some of those outcomes have to be positive or at least neutral! You’re not asking them to believe in the positive outcomes but simply consider that they exist. Very often that can be a major step forward in making someone do something!

If you want to force them, or find that you have to force them, to consider positive outcomes then you can use:

“How good would it be if you did make the call?” or “How good could it be if you did make the call?”

It’s all about getting them to consider an option that they were resisting. it is important when using the phrases to pause afterwards to let them consider the possibilities. Don’t rush them for an answer.

Now I’d suggest that it makes the strong minded weak as it uses the ability of a strong mind to consider and show itself other options including options it had been resisting up to then!

Naturally a true Jedi also then watches for eye pattern movement and body language indicators to try to read how the other person is responding but those are things for another blog!

I trust you enjoyed this blog and if you missed the first part then please find it at:

http://edenchanges.wordpress.com/2008/09/06/how-to-become-a-jedi-master-part-1/

A third blog in this series is in development

Other articles relating to personal development can be found in my archives and I would invite you to bookmark my front page at www.edenchange.wordpress.com for your entertainment and development!

Until next time

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Again the art was by Saehral, thank you, and the original can be found at:

http://saehral.deviantart.com/art/Jedi-18611301

Changing the world

How do you feel about the world right now?

Are you happy with the global state of affairs or does international conflict, the threats to the environment or global injustice touch your conscience?

On a more local scale would you have people be more polite, more thoughtful or more positive to each other?

If you are nodding as you read those lines with the thought that ‘Yes; sometimes I wish for those things’ then you have a simple challenge if you are genuinely serious about making a difference in the world. Y

our challenge is this – how do you turn the idea into action. More specifically; how can you influence other people to make a positive change in the world?

It might sound like a very big question yet the answer is remarkably easy and the really beautiful thing about the answer is that you personally have the power to put it into action.

So what is the answer? Well it’s this – whatever change you want to see in the world you need to first adopt that change for yourself. For example if you want people to be more polite then be more polite yourself. If you want people to recycle more then make sure you recycle more.

As I said it’s a very easy answer and one that you have the power to implement. Simple yet potent in it’s potential.

Another powerful aspect of this answer is that you can act on it immediately. Simply consider, right now, one way in which you would like the world to be a better place and resolve to do more of that yourself from this moment on.

This philosophy works on three levels. First by changing your own behaviour you have changed the behaviour of one person on the earth immediately.

Secondly, and this is where the big impact lies, you will start to influence those people around you. Humans are ultimately pack animals and we adopt the characteristics of those around us. When you start to act in a certain way people will see this and start, sometimes slowly ,sometimes quickly, to adopt your patterns and behaviours.

The third level that this works on is an internal level because if you genuinely apply this philosophy as you go through life you will realise how powerful you are. Rather than complaining about others you will evolve and grow into someone who sees something they want to change and then someone who does something directly about it.

I don’t know about you, but knowing that I have the power to change the world makes me feel pretty good!

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Active Evolution

Evolution

~ a process in which something passes by degrees to a more advanced or mature stage

I’m a big fan of the show Heroes (good acting, complicated plotting and great cliff hangers how could I not like it?) and one of the central themes is evolution. In the show certain people manifest new physical abilities for humans, literally evolution in action. It got me thinking about us biologically normal people and whether we could evolve and develop.

As you can imagine I believe the answer to be a resounding yes. The thing is you have to make it happen. You have to take command of the present to ordain the future. Let’s say for sake of argument that you are not the person that you dreamed about being when you were younger or even last week! What can you do about that? Well frankly whatever you want to do about it.

You can chose to accept your (self determined) shortcomings or you can chose to grow and evolve into something closer to the person you wanted to be.

I can give you the guarantee that if you chose not to pursue your dreams and ideals then you will not reach them. I can also guarantee that if you do pursue them then you will get closer. You will become more of what you want to be. In short you will evolve into the next version of yourself. And I’d love to see that happen.

So let me end with a question: Peter Petrelli in the first episode of Heroes stood on a roof edge and had the faith in himself to step off (he believed he could fly). What, (metaphorical) roof edge do you have the faith to step off?

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Career Polish

Career Polish

I rather like it when advice you get from your parents turns out to be true. It gives me a warm feeling to know that it was from my dad or from my mother. It puts a smile on my face and it makes the sharing of the advice that much sweeter.

And today I would like to share some career advice that I received many moons ago from my dad…

When I was growing up my dad, who worked in pensions and investments, would always tell me how important it was in business to polish your shoes.

He would recount stories of eager young sales people who would come in for interviews with expensive suits and firm handshakes. He would tell in great detail the exact moment when those people failed to make the right impression. The moment that the interviewer looked down and saw their shoes…

When I think back to when my dad first told me those tales I remember being inspired to polish my school shoes and more than that I believed that he had given me an advantage over my peers and that I must remember the lesson for the years ahead.

Well the years passed and as a typically cynical teenager I rebelled against a lot of good advice yet somehow I could never quite shake my faith in the polishing advice. Not that I did it all the time of course but rather the feeling that it was good advice was always in me, even when I failed to act on that feeling!

Towards the end of my teenage years I did wonder if the advice was a little old school. Whether in this modern age something like polished shoes would really be taken into account when considering the suitability of a talented young person.

That was quite a few years ago now and the millennium has come and gone and now I’m a business professional in my own right with, amongst other experience, almost a decade in the recruitment and headhunting world. And you know what…my dad was right.

I’ve heard from countless CEO’s and MD’s of multi million pound international companies over the last decade who tell me that one of the signs of a true business person is a pair of well polished shoes.

And it’s not only the ’silver haired’ brigade who thinks this. I know several wealthy entrepreneurs aged under 35 for whom polished shoes indicates an individual who is both serious about business and has an eye for detail.

It has also been said to me by several managing directors that polished shoes in a candidate is a mark of respect towards the interviewing company, a way of saying ‘I respect you and your business enough to make an effort to look my best.’ and the message the interviewers read into this is ‘if they can make an effort like that about their appearance probably they will make a great effort about their jobs.’

I think the reason that my faith in my dad’s advice never truly wavered during my teenage years was that it always felt so good, so diligent and just so right when I did actually pick up the polish and a cloth and shine my shoes. The proof was in the pudding as they say.

So if you are not moved by my retelling of my dad’s advice let me set you a challenge. Tonight go home from work and polish your shoes.

Polish them really well and leave them out by the door that you will leave your home from tomorrow. In the morning see how it feels when you go to put them on and then, even more importantly, see how great you feel once you have put them on.

You see what I have learnt is that people notice when you have polished your shoes and people react positively to the signals that effort sends out. And one of the most important people to notice will be you.

Until next time

Stephen

Stephen Hart

A List of People

Recently a friend of mine at work emailed me a list of the casualties suffered by the British Army in Iraq. I wasn’t sure why he had sent it round apart from the fact that he is an ex-military chap himself and I assumed he was sharing some news. It seemed like quite a long list of names and the email it self took a few minutes to open on my machine. So I deleted it.

Simple as that, deleted it, click.

And then…

Well then nothing happened, at least not at work. What did happen outside of work however was that I, that very night, watched a television show, one of my favourites, and in this particular episode the character are talking about the list of dead from that day in a fictional war. The scene played out like this:

Character 1: “Sir… the latest casualty reports have been posted.”

Character 2: “How many this time?”

Character 1: “Including the troops lost at AR-Five-Five-Eight… seventeen hundred and thirty.”

Character 2: “Seventeen hundred and thirty.” (quietly)

Character 1: “That’s a lot of names.” (Sympathetically)

Character 2: “They’re not just names… It’s important we remember that.

(to himself) “We have to remember…”

Now watching that scene brought me to tears, not only because of the fictional story that was emotional and hard hitting but because art had imitated life absolutely and it had found me wanting.

So I want to say that the character was right. We have to remember that the names in the news are real people. Out of respect of their choices, out of respect for a fellow person we must remember that. This isn’t about being about anti-war; this is about being a decent person.

Now I don’t know exactly what difference it will make to the world to remember that they were people but I know it is the morally right thing to do.

So for myself I went back to my email software and found the deleted email with the names of those dead soldiers and I read the names, I read the names of those people, all of them. And I wondered what type of people they had been, what their hopes had been and who had been left behind.

Again I don’t know what it accomplishes but it feels right.

Let us never forget it is not a list of names, it is a list of people.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Taking life less seriously.

“The best thing you’ve ever done for me,
is to teach me to take my life less seriously.”
Indigo Girls

I was extolling the importance of my job and the necessity to take it seriously to a guest at a dinner a few years ago when the guest I was speaking to started to smirk. I asked what was funny and he asked what was the worst that could happen if I got things wrong.

At the time I was a headhunter and I talked about career’s being ruined and the devastating effect on the person’s family etc. After puffing myself up with the importance of my role and how dire the consequences of getting it wrong it occurred to me to ask him what he did for a living.

He was a heart surgeon!

Naturally I had to concede his role had graver (no pun intended) consequences and we got to talking about that. He told me how as a young doctor he had been given a brilliant piece of advice which he always held to. That advice was to not take things too seriously and always maintain a sense of humour. The reason for this he had been told was that if he took himself or the role too seriously he would more likely stiffen up either mentally or physically and thus be more likely to make mistakes.

Naturally being a heart surgeon he had to treat his job with respect and care yet in his experience combining that with a good sense of humour was vital for success.

So this week don’t forget the power of humour to oil the wheels of success!

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

I was feeling the blues, then I met a man with no shoes.

Imagine the scene; a cold winter’s morning in Chicago in 1920. The snow is falling as a business man is walking to the train station to board a train for a job interview. Whilst he had dressed as well as he could his coat was several years old and did little to keep the cold out and he knew his suit had seen better days.

This job interview was, he felt, his last chance to find work in Chicago and if he failed he would have to move out West and try his luck elsewhere.

As he was went to cross over the road to the station he saw a scene which he credited with changing his life. Coming along the sidewalk towards him was a man in a wheel chair in a winter coat that was tucked under him and showed that clearly the man had no legs. “Morning there. Beautiful day isn’t it.” The man said with a smile as he wheeled past the business man.

The business man was speechless and stood in the snow marvelling at a man who, despite his disadvantages, could be so positive about the world.

Over the years that followed the business man told the story many times and spoke often of the lessons it had taught him. For him not only did it say something powerful about having a positive attitude it also said to him to appreciate what you do have.

That lesson was relevant in 1920’s Chicago and it is relevant today where ever you are. How many great things do you have in your life to have appreciation for? How much can you accomplish with what you already have? If you are reading this then you can see, you can read and whether at home or work you have access to technology that millions are denied.

In the hurly burly of today’s world with constant advertising from companies and corporations it is easy to be discontent. Being happy can be no harder than taking a moment to appreciate how many things you already have.

So how many things do you already have to appreciate and what can you achieve with them?

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Ideas are not enough

Half way into an hour and a half commute to work and the rain was still falling. The roads were slick with water and visibility could have been better. For some reason the traffic had slowed to a crawl and then I saw on the inside lane the reason. A car had broken down and stood forlornly with its hazard lights feebly blinking away. A woman stood, holding her coat hood down against the rain, hand bag in hand next to the car. She was getting wet. And in five minutes she’d be a lot wetter.

Now the next thought that went through my head was that I could pull over and give her the umbrella that was sitting, unused, next to me in my car. I don’t need it and she did. I could have stopped right by her car.

But I didn’t.

Twenty yards further down the road I saw a parking place. Again I thought that I could very easily turn the wheel, slow the car, and pull up. Then I could get out, walk twenty yards and give her the umbrella. A decent, quick idea that would make a difference.

I kept driving.

Now I’ve thought about this up and down and the reason why I didn’t act is not the topic for this thought for the week. The topic is rather that ideas aren’t enough on their own. Action has to follow them.

If you don’t put your ideas into action then the ideas won’t make a blind bit of difference.

If you have an idea to develop yourself, follow it with action. If you have an idea how to increase your sales, improve your health or your wealth then follow those ideas with action. Otherwise nothing will change.

Listen to your ideas, take action and make a difference.

(And I offer my most profound apologies to the woman in the rain…)

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

“Never give up, never surrender!”

“Never give up, never surrender!”

A few years ago I was on a plane flying to the beautiful city of Seattle from England. I was on one of those planes with the neat mini television screens set in the seat in front of you. I flipped through the available channels, saw a film on the listings that looked like fun and slipping the headphone on I settled back in my aisle seat to enjoy the movie.

Minutes into the film I started to laugh. First a chuckle, then a contained laugh. I tried to suppress my laughter due to the other passengers on the plane but it got worse. Soon I was crying with laughter, tears streaming down my face as I doubled up in my seat with convulsions. People started looking at me funny and I realised I was the only person on the plane laughing! In a quiet moment of the film, as I wiped the tears from my eyes I glanced puzzled at what they were watching as it seemed inconceivable to me that they wouldn’t be laughing just as hard as I was.

They weren’t watching what I was. Definitely their loss.

At about the half hour point I gave in and laughed and chuckled through the rest of the film as quietly as possible but still loud enough to draw some odd looks from the other passengers…hey what can I say – the film was funny!

So what’s the point of the story? Is it “walk your own path”? Or “Be respectful of others”, or “Humour is good for you”? Well all good points but not where this is going. You see the film was a sci-fi spoof – literally a Star Trek spoof called Galaxy Quest. Now as such it had a heroic Captain Kirk type figure who’s motto was “Never give up, never surrender!” And that’s the point of the story…well that’s the point of the blog, the point of the story was to make entertain you as you read it – picturing one man crying with laughter in the centre of a plane whilst everyone else looks on bemused not knowing why he is so happy! (Watching with headphones remember on my own mini tv)

So for this first blog on blogger I have chosen “Never give up, never surrender!” as the motto. For here is a truth for you, no matter what you want to do in life, no matter who you want to be, as long as you don’t give up and don’t surrender to the objections and obstacles of the world then you will triumph. Consider how many marvellous things that have been created, how many wondrous inventions given life and how many lives bettered because people kept going.

So dear readers it is good to laugh at films and equally it’s brilliant to “”Never give up, never surrender!”

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

PS This was posted on my blogger site before I moved to wordpress.

Only Books

Only Books

The story I am about to relate happened about seven years ago and is as clear today as when it happened. It was a bright summer’s day and I was strolling down a high street doing a little window shopping with my fiancée when we saw a woman walking towards us with a young boy, about six year of age, in tow. Because the pavement was narrow at this point, my fiancée and I stepped back and waited for them to pass us. As they passed the boy made a move to go into the shop in whose window we had been looking. The woman, his mother I guess, pulled him back by the arm saying, “You don’t want to go in there. It’s only books.”

And that is the phrase that has echoed in my head these seven years hence. “It’s only books”…now she was right as it was a bookshop the boy had tried to enter so it was indeed only full of books. Books on business, on sales, on poetry, on love, on war, on indeed every topic that has delighted or plagued mankind since the dawn of time. The findings of the greatest thinkers, poets and dreamers recorded for the benefit of all of us so that we might succeed where others have failed, triumph were others have been defeated and maybe laugh when others have cried.

So once the woman and boy had gone up the street my fiancée and I went into the bookstore and what did we come out with? Only books – or an armful of adventure, entertainment, and learning. And that was fine with us.

And seven years after that story took place let me ask you a question; when was the last time you read a book that could help you with your career, your personal life or your financial freedom? When did you last read a book to make you think, to challenge your beliefs or to stretch your mind? When was the last time you took a lesson on business, or sales or life directly from one of the experts in those fields?

Or are they ‘only books’ to you too?

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Small Steps

“As we become drunkards by so many separate drinks,
so we become saints and authorities and experts
by so many separate acts and hours of work.”

William James

Consider where you are in life. Are you the person you wanted to be when you were younger? If you answer the question in a negative way then consider how it would be to change. How it would be to honestly evaluate and consider how far short you have fallen of what you are capable.

And take heart because William James was right. And if you are not the person you wanted to be, if there is indeed a difference between what you dreamed of and what you have achieved then that short falling was done slowly one small slip at a time. And no matter how big the gap might be now you can cross it one positive step at a time.

It doesn’t matter how small your steps are as long as you take the steps and take them in the right direction.

Until next time,

Stephen

Stephen Hart

How To Become A Jedi Master Part 1

How To Become a Jedi Master Part 1

I have a dear friend who tells me that I am too serious and that I need to relax and be more of myself. Which just goes to prove that she has met me!

So as a personal development specialist who is also a sci-fi fan let me offer the first in a light hearted series of notes entitled:

“How to be a Jedi master.”

Oh come on it was a no brainer really wasn’t it. I saw Star Wars when I was seven and I always wanted to be a Jedi knight. Now that I know some techniques that come very close to Jedi mind tricks it seems like fun to share them with you…oh and I’m not making this stuff up. Everything I am going to share works and comes from either the world of NLP (neuro linguistic programming) or similar psychologically based disciplines. So I invite you to read on and “Learn how to be a Jedi master!”

Let’s start with mind control – the famous scene in the first star wars movie features obi-wan kenobi telling the storm troopers that “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for”. He then suggest to the troopers that “They can move on.” which then the troopers tell him to do and thus he and his group escape capture.

So how great would it be to able to do that…to influence another person’s thinking in the direction you wanted…well here’s the thing; you can. And it’s pretty easy.

Let me show you…by asking you one question…and consider the answer as you read the question…

“Your mother. Your mother what’s her first name?”

Okay so do you have a picture of your mother in your head now, or did you when you thought of the answer to the question?

let’s try another one…again consider the answer as you read…

“Your front door. The front door; of your house, flat or apartment…what colour is it?”

Again do you have an image of your front door in your mind, or did you when you thought of the answer to the question?

I’m going to stick my neck out as assume that you did. (This is a lot harder to do on paper and so much easier to do verbally!)

Now how it works is very simple, yet it highlights a fundamental fact about how the human brain works; “labels”. You see the brain is hard wired to generalise and assign labels to things. When you are young you learn that small, squeaking creatures are called ‘mice’ yet not all small squeaking creatures are mice, which you learn later, so your brain has to do some translation work when presented with something small and squeaking; literally is it or is it not a mouse. And when you see the word ‘mouse’ you think of something that your brain has labelled as a mouse, whether that is a white mouse, brown one, cartoon one or whatever.

In short when you are presented with a label your brain rushes off to access a meaning for the label, which means that when you present a label to someone you literally mind control them for a split second to think about what you want them to think about. Which is why the label in the examples above were written as they were – label first! I could have asked:

“What is the name of your mother?” but that isn’t as effective as trigger the label of mother first and then asking the question. I could get technical and explain why this works on at least two levels but this is supposed to be a light weight article not a thesis so let me press on with why this might be of interest to you…

Let’s say you want to have a conversation with an attractive woman or man at the bar…how about…

changing the old “Can I buy you a drink?” (a very weak line for so many reasons!) to “You’re favourite drink, what would that be?”

Note the delivery is important in particular put the emphasis on ‘You’re’ and pause at the comma.

taking it further…

“You have beautiful eyes.” to “You’re eyes, they’re very beautiful.”

and even better and using some other psychology…

“You’re eyes; they’re a beautiful shade of blue”
(obviously assuming here they are blue)

Putting the ‘You’re’ first triggers association and sends the signal that the message is personal to them and about them. And the above example contained Jedi mind trick number two – make compliments specific. The more specific and personal to the individual that you are speaking to the more impact it will have psychological.

…hey try it out…nothing ventured nothing gained

Now whether using this technique to attract the opposite sex is going to the dark side is something I can’t answer!

You can use it in lots of situations to direct people’s thoughts. If nothing else it is a great way of getting someone’s attention diverted to the thing you want to talk about. Throw out a label, give them a second to consider it then ask your question. It works in

Next time; how possibility allows you to influence events…

Or in other words…once she (or he) has told you what their favourite drink is, how to get them to let you buy them one

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

The second part of this blog is now done and can be found at:

http://edenchanges.wordpress.com/2008/09/26/how-to-be-a-jedi-master-part-2

The full size original of the brilliant Jedi painting used at the start of this blog can be found at :

http://saehral.deviantart.com/art/Painty-Jedi-36127695

and is used by kind permission of the artist – thanks Britt!