Friday Challenge Three – Book Time

This Friday how about an educational challenge that might take you a little longer than a week to do!

The challenge this week is Book Time – and the specifics are that I offer the challenge of picking one of the books listed on my new Recommended Reading page of this blog and reading it! (The link is at the top of the page.)

You could either pick one deliberately through the catagory section or trust to luck, chance or maybe even fate by asking a friend to pick a random number between one and ninety three!

Once you have that number simply see which book is listed against that number in the Complete List section, obtain a copy and read it!

Well after all the nights have gotten darker and colder so how better to spend your time than developing your life with a good book!

Happy reading!

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Picture from Melissa Banks who’s other work can be found at http://tehlissness.deviantart.com/gallery/ with thanks

Sphere of Influence

Before I put my cards on the table and tell you what this blog is about let me ask you a favour…once I’ve told you please keep reading because whilst it’s a topic that’s been done to death in a hundred books and far too many web articles I’ve got a point to make that might just help you…

So cards on the table…this blog is going to be about networking – business networking in particular and about a mistake that I know quite a few people are making…

To illustrate the networking mistake let me describe an old networking game that has been around as long as networking itself…namely the ‘business card collection game’.

In this game when you attend a business exhibition or a networking event the aim is to collect as many business cards as possible. Very simply the person who collects the most cards wins.

The idea behind the game was to prompt people who were nervous about networking and changing cards to do just that; collect them. And it works. It works in so far as as you end up with a collection of cards. But what value do those cards have? How much actual business value did you get from winning the business card collection game?

I’ll answer that question in a minute but first I want to fast forward to the present day and look at the modern version of the business card game.

Today a lot of networking is done online either more casually through sites such as Facebook or Bebo or more formally through Linkedin and it’s ilk. On these sites it is relatively easy to increase your network numbers and this can give the fantastic impression that your influence, and your business, is expanding. It’s also tempting, and I know people who do this, to boast and brag about the number of people in your network. And this is where the mistake lies.

Yes the point of networking is about numbers but not just any numbers. It’s not actually about the  number of people that you have the name of but rather the numbers of people you know. And even that doesn’t take it far enough because effective networking is about how many people you know who you can influence.

When I say influence I mean people who you can call upon to do something for you whether that is give you advice, meet you, purchase from you etc. Now for you to be able to influence someone you have to have some relationship with the person.

I am sure all of you reading this can realise that sending someone an invitation to connect with you via Linkedin doesn’t form a very deep relationship. It actually has to be followed up with real communication.

So don’t be misled by the numbers of names that you have; focus rather on increasing your sphere of influence by communicating with people and helping others.

Good luck increasing your sphere of influence!

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Photograph by Michael Lazich and used by kind permission. His other work can be seen at http://exciter69.deviantart.com/

Friday Challenge Number Two – Pick one

A nice positive and happy Friday Challenge this week…

We all have things in our life that we hesitate to do; chores not done, calls not made, places not visited. When I mention topic people tend to pick the negatives, the difficult conversations not had or duties ignored but there is another side to procrastination…the positives choices not taken.

You see personal development isn’t all about sacrifice and hard choices!

So this Friday the challenge is to pick one of the positive things that you had thought about doing but not done. It could be that restaurant you were going to try, the DVD you were going to treat yourself to or a trip out that you keep putting off.

Well no longer!

Have the meal, buy the film or take the trip – indulge yourself with something positive that will make you feel good.

You will advance your life, practice overcoming procrastination and enjoy yourself at the same time!

Now that’s a Friday challenge I image you can really get into!

Again, email me or leave a comment to say how you got on and thank you for the number of emails I received after last week. Clearly it was a challenge that helped people move forward in their lives.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Photograph from http://haisagandim.deviantart.com/gallery/ with thanks

Stepping off the roof

This is a blog entry for anyone who is in business or sports who wants to move themselves forward in their careers.  I am going to highlight one of the most important personal attributes that you need to cultivate in order to be success in your career.

I’m going to highlight this attribute by citing the example of Peter Petrelli, a fictional character in the television show Heroes. Now I suspect many of you will have seen this show however, for those of you haven’t or for those of you who have forgotten the very beginning of the show, let me describe the situation…

Peter Petrelli was a man who was having dreams, visions even, of being able to fly. These visions became more and more real until finally Peter made his way to the top of an apartment block and, standing on the edge of the roof, he paused, clearly deliberating over the dilemma of having enough faith in his visions to risk everything or to playing it safe.

After what seems like an eternity of deliberation he steps off the roof…

Now for two reasons I’m not going to say what happens next to peter – first I’m not going to spoil such an excellent show for you if you haven’t seen it and secondly what happens to Peter isn’t relevant to this blog!

What is relevant is the faith that Peter had in what would happen next. He believed he had the ability to fly, he had faith that he was special and that he could do incredible things.

For you to have a serious chance to develop your career you have to have faith in yourself. You have to have faith that you can learn what you need to learn to take the next step. You have to have faith that you have the ability to grow as a person to face the challenges that promotion would bring.

If you lack faith in yourself you will not seek out opportunities because you will not believe yourself capable of dealing with them. Other people will recognise this hesitation in you and not trust you with new opportunities or new challenges.

Study great, successful men and woman in sports, politics or business and you will find that they all had faith in themselves. A few modern examples include Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Pele, Margaret Thatcher, Sir Alan Sugar, Sir Richard Branson… and the list goes on.

Indeed it has been my experience, and it is certainly my belief, that all truly successful people had faith in their abilities long before anyone else did. Their faith made other people believe in them. Their faith created opportunities they were able to utilise to further their careers.

My suggestion to you then is this:

Think hard about how much faith you have in your innate abilities and learn to cultivate and grow that faith daily through positive actions.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Friday Challenge Number One – Make the call

The Friday Challenge is a new section on Edenchanges born out of the realisation that self development books and blogs are actually worthless unless the information is used!

It’s not that people aren’t willing to apply the knowledge they have gained it’s that they sometimes don’t know where to apply it.

So I would like to offer you a direction to start in and consequently I now offer the first in a regular series of Challenges for you.

They will, you’ve guessed it, come out every Friday which gives you the opportunity of having a whole week to do them once, several times or not at all as you chose!

So without further ado Friday Challenge Number One – Make the Call

The challenge for this week is to call someone you haven’t spoken to in quite a while and reconnect with that person.

Now we all have people in our lives whom we care about but with whom we have lost touch. People we do wish well and yet haven’t kept in touch with. That in itself is okay and it is quite natural.

Sometimes however we know we really should call them, we really should say ‘hi thinking about you’ or ‘hi I know it’s been a while and I wanted to hear you were okay’ or some such. We know that it would be the right thing to do.

Consider your friends and family for a minute…who is there that you know who would feel good if you made that call?

Now I don’t know who they are in your life; but you do. You know who you could make smile by the simple act of picking up the phone.

And consider this…as good as they will feel when you call them, you will feel even better for having made the call.

You might be able to think of lots of reasons (excuses really) not to make the call and possible the only reason to do it is that little voice inside you that says you should…and you know the voice is right…so listen to the voice…

Make the Call!

I’d love to hear how you’ve got on, so post a comment or send me an email. And yes I’ll be joining in to. After all you shouldn’t trust a person who won’t follow his own advice!

Until next time, happy dialing;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

The art work used came from the artist bad kitty who’s other work can be found at http://bad-kitty.deviantart.com/gallery/

Pushing the Envelope

Sixty one years ago today on October 14, 1947 a young pilot climbed into an experimental plane and took off on a flight to achieve something that had never been achieved before…to break the sound barrier.

The prevailing wisdom at the time was mixed with some thinking that the forces would literally rip the wings of the plane or lock the controls up causing a catastrophic and fatal crash.

As it was Chuck Yeager flying the experimental plane the X-1, (named by Yeager “Glamorous Glennis” after his wife) flying at an altitude of 45,000 feet entered the history books as the first man to successfully break the sound barrier.

In the years that followed he, and others, continued to fly further and faster and even now there are pilots and aerospace engineers striving always to ‘push the envelope’ (as they say in the aviation world) and go faster and further.

Because those people did that, because they strove to do the things that haven’t been done before they achieved more and they learned more. After all the benefit is not always in reaching the goal but the wisdom that is learned along the way and we could all benefit from more wisdom!

I know specifically how I will, for myself, push the envelope today and yes it’s a little scary and it’s a little unnerving and I welcome that. Because when it is done, when the attempt is made and whether I succeed or fail, I will have pushed my personal envelope out further than it has been before and I welcome whatever that brings.

So I invite you to consider a simple question;

“What personal barriers can you exceed today?”

What can you attempt that you haven’t done before, what target could you set that you haven’t reached  before or what action could you take that you haven’t taken before.

Or in other words…

How far can you push the envelope today?

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Perfection is Flawed

As a business coach I am going to recommend that you don’t strive for perfection. That in fact the quest for perfection is a fool’s quest and should be abandoned immediately!

Now the reason behind my thinking is very simple…perfection itself doesn’t exist.

It’s an illusion, a concept that can not be given actual form in the real world.

In the world of mathematics you might be able to have the perfect answer to a question but in the arena of human endeavours perfection ceases to be a real possibility. After all however good someone becomes someone else can always improve on it.

And worse than that very often how well someone has done something or how good something is literally no more than a matter of opinion.

So if perfection isn’t the goal what should be? Try excellence.

Now yes, excellent is another concept, another idea that within the field of human endeavours is hard to positively identify. However, and it is an important however, this time it is possible to more accurately measure it.

I can, for example, recognise an excellent sales pitch when I hear it. And I can even write down what would constitute an excellent sales pitch and train someone else to recognise it. I couldn’t however describe a perfect sales pitch. There is always something that could have been changed or altered.

So, assuming you want to excel in your career, whatever field of business that might be in, may I recommend you focus on being excellent. This is something that can be reached, a solid goal that is worth pursuing.

I could end this blog on that note but I would rather give you something in addition to theory. Something that you can put into action. So in brief let me outline your first three steps on the road of career excellence:

1. Commit to the task – commit to the challenge of being excellent at what you do for a living. It might sound obvious but that psychological commitment is the first real step – just as proposing is the first real step of commitment prior to a lifetime of marriage!
2. Identify the first action -here I can’t be more specific as it depends on what you want to excel at – you need to identify the first definitive piece of action that you need to take – it might be asking to work with a particular person, or purchasing a ‘how to’ manual, or subscribing to a blog or newsletter…whatever it is you need to identify the first action
3. Take action - this is where most people fail – they go through the theoretical steps listed above but then fail to take real action – they fail to do anything real…so take action by doing the action you identified at point 2 above!

A quick warning for those of you who heed the above advice…please realise that excellence is a long journey and it requires determination, persistency and a constant desire to excel. You do not become excellent at anything by only doing something once!

To balance of my warning the good news is that whilst excellence is a journey  many of the rewards you will receive will come from the journey itself even before you become truly excellent!

So take that first step and commence the journey.

Good luck.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Killer Confidence

A family member recently took up kickboxing. Not perhaps the first hobby you would expect a non -exercising, late thirties, housewife to take up, but hey expectations are such limiting things!

I had expected this to be a violent and aggressive activity when in fact the opposite is the case. Since joining their class they have experienced only support, guidance encouragement and tolerance from all. The lessons promote discipline, self awareness and respect for others – all noble virtues.

The real surprise to me though has not been that my expectations about martial arts were wrong  or that this person wanted to do a martial art, although that did take me back a little at first, but rather the incredible benefits they have already begun to realise from doing it.

They have told me in no uncertain terms how confident and positive they feel after attending just a couple of sessions. It being autumn at the moment it’s quite chilly in the evening and after a long day looking after children I know they don’t always want to go out into the cold night and drive half an hour to the dojo.

Yet week in, week out they have done it and every single time they have come back both exhausted and happy! The troubles and cares of the day wiped away by the rigorous exercise.

Now a short term gain in positivity might be expected from a good work out but the thing that I find fascinating, and what I want to share with you, is that this person is finding the effects lasting. They have spoken to me of how they are gaining a new perspective on life. A perspective that is positive and empowering.

They have described how since taking up kickboxing they have realised that previously in their life they have lived as a victim. Not in big dramatic way but in lots of small ways that have truly limited and curtailed their life. For example they would let the comments of friends or enemies, seriously affect their self esteem and self image or they would hesitate to make decisions because of concerns about what other people might say.

All are very common limitations that so many of us place on ourselves. So the brilliant fact is that now, after only a couple weeks of kick boxing, the person describes themselves as ‘independent’. The opinions of others matter only to the right extent and they feel free to take the decisions they want to.

All in all, for this person, taking up a martial art has been an enlightening and life changing decision. They feel fitter, healthier and independent. Three great ways to feel.

So I present the thought that if you are looking to develop killer confidence and independence then consider taking up a martial art – or indeed any other hobby that inspires passion and a good workout!

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

The Girl in the Polka Dot Skirt

Travel broadens the mind and I had the privilege to travel on business today.

I meet some new sales people and worked with them, and their managing director, to further their business goals which was a lot of fun and very rewarding.

Now the travelling was also a  hoot! Six trains in a day might seem like a burden yet like so many things in life it all depends on how you view things.

Today I was able to take some time to work on a project on the first train, develop a new training program on the second and chill out to a brilliant radio play from Decoder Ring Theatre during the third and fourth.

The real highlight, and the event that has prompted this blog occured as I was waiting to board the sixth and final train.

I was waiting on the platform in the autumn wind for the train to fully stop and the doors to open when I noticed an attractive young woman standing to my left also waiting to board the train.

She had a really ‘together’ look about her with a sharp fresh haircut, short billowy skirts and black tights – not to mention good legs!

Now what struck me was her bearing and poise and I was impressed that someone dressed for warmer weather could ignore the cold wind that was blowing across the platform with such apparent indifference.

Her skirt had a polka dot pattern and then, and this is the kicker, I realised it wasn’t white polka dots on a blue background it was little white skulls on a blue background! Now that got my attention!

How brilliant is that. Some one not only had the originality to make a blue polka dot skirt with little white skulls instead of dots but then someone else had the sheer nerve and sense of humour to pull off the look.

What a fresh approach and what originiality. I applaud it.

What I love about this is that in no way shape or form is it a look or style that I would want my wonderful wife to adopt, or my daughter for that matter but what I can appreciate, and I love is, that there goes a true original. Someone who is willing to walktheir own path in life.

In a world of mass production and copy cat fashion it takes confidence and thought to show you own style. This young lady did it subtly and in breath taking style.

A lesson for us all!

Until next time,

Stephen

Stephen Hart

PS the graphic is from the work of Miss Frankii Wilde with thanks, other examples of her work can be found at:

http://missfrankiiwilde.deviantart.com/gallery/