Communication for Rapport Building

Communication is a life skill that influences every aspect of your life. The first Edenchanges blog on the topic was very well received so I thought it would be good to share some further communication tips.

The original article which presented four general communication tips can be found here.

In this article I am going to look at communication that helps build rapport with people. Rapport in this instance is about bringing people closer together and creating a feeling of understanding and connection. In other words your communication builds rapport when the people you are speaking to feel closer and more in tune with you.

The following material is taken from the Edenchanges Communication for Executives training course.

Use their words – a powerful rapport building technique is to use the other persons words. Let me illustrate by example:

Person A describes an experience they have just had with a friend – “That was thrilling!”

Person B (who also experienced the same event) replies – “Yes that was exciting!”

The problem here is that to Person A the words ‘thrilling’ and ‘exciting’ might well have different meanings. As a result they might not feel that Person B had exactly the same experience. The change in words creates a barrier in the communication. At least from the perspective of rapport building; of being connected.

Everyone has their own internal definition for all words and by using the other persons words in a conversation with them we send the message that we truly understand and are truly talking about the same experiences.

So to be clear in the above example it would have been more powerful from a rapport building perspective for Person B to say:

“Yes that was thrilling!”

Naturally this might not actually be the opinion of Person B however if Person B is looking to bond and connect with Person A then they would be well advised to use the same words!

Ask questions – I’ve spent nearly a decade in the recruitment industry, first as a head-hunter and now as a trainer and coach. Consequently asking questions has been part of my job for years! One of the things I have noticed about questions is that, outside of recruitment, people simply don’t ask enough of them.

People generally like other people to show an interest in them. By asking questions you show that you are interested in them. I’m not suggesting you interrogate people rather express a level of interest in them.

For example the other day I was buying a coffee when I noticed that the man behind me in the queue had a really great pair of boots on. I complimented him on them and asked him where he had got them from. From looking a bit surprised that a total stranger would speak to him he suddenly looked very happy. It turned out that the boots were a birthday present from his fiance and he’d managed to get the last pair, in his size, in stock. He was very happy to share the story.

The conversation lasted only a moment but it was a positive experience that couldn’t have happened without a question being asked.

Speak at their level - not everyone has the same command of the English language. Rapport is a great word and I know what I mean by it however at the beginning of this blog I clarified its meaning for those readers who might not have come across it before.

There is nothing wrong with not knowing the word ‘rapport’ or indeed any other word. What is wrong is to assume that everyone understands the words you do.

Good communication is about accurately conveying information from one person to another. A large part of building rapport through communication is about having respect for the other person. This includes respecting their educational level and language range.

A good rule of thumb is to speak at a simple but competent level to new people until you get a chance to gauge their grasp of English. Some ideas and events can only be shared through more advanced language which then simply requires new or more unusual words to be clarified and explained.

Intelligent Listening – this is a big topic in itself and I will return to it in future blogs however for now let me mention one element of it; it is important to clearly indicate that you are listening to the other person whether you are communicating face to face or over the phone or internet.

Use verbal nods such as ‘Ah ha’, ‘yes’, ‘really’; to show that you are truly listen to the other person. When face to face with the person use body language and eye contact to clearly show that you are listening.

When people speak they want to be listened to and in some instances need to be listened to. Every wife and girlfriend in the world can no doubt tell stories of when their partners were not listening to them and how bad that felt! And every husband and boyfriend in the world can no doubt tell stories of when their partners thought they weren’t listening when in fact they were and how annoying that felt!

The point is; not visibly listening destroys rapport!

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 I trust you have found the above of interest. As already mentioned the above information has been taken from the Edenchanges Communication for Executives training course. We would love to talk to any companies interested in improving the communication skills of their staff and we can be contacted via the details below.

 And finally as always comments via the blog site or by email are always welcome.

 Until next time, be successful;

 Stephen

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Coming next on edenchanges.com - Standing Tall - more personal development thoughts inspired by Fight Club!

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We would be delighted to discuss your communication, or other corporate training or coaching needs so call us, or email us, today to discuss:

International: +44 1757 249 380 UK: 01757 249 390

Email: enquiries@edenchanges.com

Focus

Focus definition:

• the concentration of attention or energy on something
• concentrate: direct one’s attention on something
• cause to converge on or toward a central point

On the outside this week has been a week of opposites – on Monday I was running a head hunting course for recruitment consultants and on Sunday I will be delivering the first module in a personal development program for a martial arts academy.

What is interesting are the similarities.

At a break in the head hunt training the recruitment consultants asked me how to be successful in recruitment – a very common question. The week before I had asked Sensei Craig Long, six times British kickboxing champion and owner of the York Martial Arts Academy what made people successful at martial arts. The answer it turns out is the same thing; focus.

But let’s put some perspective on this in case I’m just getting carried away as us personal development specialists can do; so just how much different does focusing on a goal or objective make?

Consider the following two statements; one is true, one is not:

1) If you focus on a goal or an objective you will reach it.

2) If you focus on a goal or an objective you will get closer to your goal and increase your chances of reaching it and being totally successful.

Being a realist I would offer the second statement as the true one. Focus does not guarantee success but it increases the odds in your favour!

And whether you are preparing for martial art combat, building a career or working towards a personal goal improving the odds has to be a good thing!

Until next time; be successful

Stephen

Trainer, Coach, Public Speaker

NEW Addition: PS – A very interesting comment has been added by a reader – I would invite all other readers to read it and add their thoughts

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Coming next on edenchanges.com – more recruitment specific tips

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We would be delighted to discuss your corporate training or coaching needs so call us, or email us, today to discuss:

International: +44 1757 249 380 UK: 01757 249 390

Email: enquiries@edenchanges.com

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Photograph by the talented Jade Macalla,  photo manipulation by me

 

The Power of Age

The age of a typical workforce has never been more diverse. 

This was a natural demographic shift which has been accelerated by the economic climate which is requiring many senior and middle executives to find new careers paths. These new career paths are often coming at a different level or in a different sector to the one in which they had previously been working.

Which raises a lot of questions regarding intergenerational attitudes and communication. In this blog I want to focus on the strengths that each age has with a desire to smooth the communication and relations between different ages.

“In my day. . .” -When someone starts a sentence like that younger workers typically do a mental eye roll and sigh inwardly if not outwardly however I’d like to present a thought that might limit the sighing, whether inner or outer! Let’s consider some of the ’old school’ techniques of doing business. 

These are things like networking with people, professionalism, keeping a good diary system; all techniques that are still recommended. Now there might be new methods of doing them (Linkedin for networking for example) however the principles are old. So “In my day. . . ” might simply be the start of a description of a good solid business principle that could then be implemented in a newer way by the younger listener.

Equally if a person has been in business thirty years it stands to reason that they have done many activities repeatedly. The older person has probably tried, failed and retried many things many times – thus, hopefully learned some things along the way. I would suggest that there is a value in listening to their stories (i.e. their experience) to see what tips can be taken and applied today. It might be they can shorten the learning curve for their younger audience.

Speak with an open mind - If the above advice was aimed at the younger party then this is for the older one – young keen workers and executives have lots of experiences that frankly older generations haven’t had. Consequently they know first hand about things that older generations typically have only heard about.

It is very easy to deride and dismiss new views and new fads as just that; fads. However if the younger audience would be advised to listen with an open mind then the older speaker would be wise to keep an open mind also.

The younger person has a different perspective and might be sceptical, or take longer to accept, the advice presented. It’s important to limit your expectations of the impact your hard won wisdom will have and also very important to be open to the ideas being changed or challenged based on a younger point of view; and they might be right – for them.

What worked thirty years ago might still work today but possibly, with a modern twist or tweak, it could work even better.

Passing over knowledge is literally that, passing it over. The recipient then has ownership. It is important to be open minded over what they will do, or how they will feel, about it.

Everyone has a story to tell – If you have been in business for any length of time you will have stories to tell. These will range from the mundane to the truly profitable! It is powerful to listen to other people’s stories as you never know what truth or wisdom will be contained within it.

If you filter your listening through an internal age filter either mentally saying;

 ”What will this person have to share with me they are too young.”

or

“What will this person have to share with me they are past it.”

then I guarantee you will be missing out. For evidence of that I would tell you that it was a relatively young colleague of mine who once told me that ‘everyone has a story to tell’ and upon consideration I realised they were right.

Always remember age does not guarantee wisdom and youth does not guarantee ignorance. Listen to their story and then take a view.

Respect -the key point from this blog is that everyone has something to bring to the table. Psychologically people’s expectations are heavily influenced by the perceived age of the person with whom they are communicating.

It takes discipline and mental effort to change your thinking to be more open and to drop ageist filters. A factor to help is simply chosing to have enough respect for everyone so that you can listen with an open mind.

By doing so you will open yourself up to a wider world of influences, ideas and suggestions. Additionally I suspect that the respect you show to others will go some way towards lowering the age filters that they apply when you speak!

Until next time; be successful

Stephen

Trainer, Coach, Public Speaker

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Coming next on edenchanges.com – The Power of Focus!

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We would be delighted to discuss your corporate training or coaching needs so call us, or email us, today to discuss:

International: +44 1757 249 380 UK: 01757 249 390

Email: enquiries@edenchanges.com

Four Communication Tips

I think it’s accurate to say that one of the fundamental factors that shapes your life is the relationships you have with other people.

Now when you consider that the quality of every relationship, whether transitory or long term, is influenced by your communication skills it makes one thing obvious; improving your communication skills can improve your life.

The great thing about improving your communication skills is that you get lots of chances to practise. Like improving any skill it does take time, diligence and effort. Fortunately the rewards can come quickly particularly with people you spend a lot of time with.

True communication empowers relationships and enriches lives. I truly hope that the following suggestions take you some way forward on that journey.

Maintain their self esteem - There are times when you have to point out the errors that someone has made. What makes for powerful communication is to do this whilst maintaining the person’s self esteem. This is something that many parents fail at; consider the difference between the following statements:

“You stupid boy! Look at what you’ve done!”

“That was stupid! Look at what you’ve done!”

In the first example a statement was made about the child’s intelligence – a statement that when said often enough will lower their self esteem. The second statement referred to the act they committed rather than the person’s character.

Because a person has committed a stupid or idiotic act does not make them stupid or idiotic and making them think that they are does no good. Better to maintain their self esteem whilst pointing out their errors.

The example above it taken from the world of parent and child however consider in what manner you point out the errors of the people you know, whether at work or home. Do you criticise them or their actions; and which one did you really mean to criticise?

And indeed which would be more constructive to criticise?

Communication is about the response it illicits - It really doesn’t matter what you meant to say it’s actually about what the other person heard and felt. Consider those times when you have given instructions or made requests of people and been met with resistance or hostility. From your point of view it might well be unreasonable but for the other person or persons it was reasonable. It was their genuine reaction to your communication.

When giving instructions or making a request a good communicator will strive to convey a message in a way so that the other person will follow the instructions in the emotional manner in which it was intended. That takes more thought and skill than simply barking an order.

Consider that the other person’s reaction is more often the result of the communication than the content and you will realise that a) you can influence the outcome and b) you are largely responsible for the outcome!

You will be misunderstood - No matter how good you are at conveying information or requests sometimes you will be misunderstood.

Good communicators therefore endeavour to ensure that the lines of communication are open enough so that if people are confused or upset by what they have said or done that a query can come back. This way misunderstandings can be cleared up rather than being allowed to fester.

Just think about how many family arguments could have been avoided if a minor misunderstanding could have been cleared away before the other person dwelt on it for days or longer!

Equally accepting that sometimes you will be understood keeps you on your toes and helps you remember to strive for clarity in your communication. Also when it does happen the fact that you accept it will happen at some times tends to make the misunderstanding less confusing and stressful.

Every piece of communication builds or reduces your reputation – there are no casual conversations in business. It’s an arena where one off-the-cuff comment can ruin a career or relationship. Don’t get paranoid but do get careful. People get judged by the content and manner of their communication at work and it is important to maintain the reputation you want at all times.

The higher up the career ladder you go or the more of an advisory your role is the greater your reputation must be maintained. Genuine consistency is the best way forward and always remember that if you say it, someone will hear it and someone will remember it. If you don’t want that to happen then keep quiet!

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As always I trust you found the above blog of interest and practical use. Communication is an art form that we can all benefit from improving.

Until next time; be successful communicating!

Regards

Stephen

Trainer, Coach, Public Speaker

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Coming next on edenchanges.com – Inspirational Dissatisfaction and how it can help you become a better sales person! Blog to be posted later this week!

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 We would be delighted to discuss your communication, or other corporate training or coaching needs so call us, or email us, today to discuss:

International: +44 1757 249 380 UK: 01757 249 390

Email: enquiries@edenchanges.com

Cheerful Success

“The people I have seen succeed best in life have always been cheerful and hopeful people, who went about their business with a smile on their faces.”

C.H.Kingsley

A good smile and a positive attitude is like a calling card – it says ‘hi – I’m a positive, happy person work with me!’

It has been my experience that the most successful people are positive people. It certainly doesn’t make you successful on your own. Success takes a lot of other ingredients including hard work, consistency and ingenuity amongst others. What positivity seems to do is oil the wheels; make the machinery work smoother and more efficiently.

It’s much easier for people to approach someone who is being positive than someone who is downbeat. In management a positive demeanour is a real asset. Communication will be a lot smoother and you will find people more willing to be spontaneous and eager to follow your guidance.

A word of warning though – don’t go over the top. As negative as being downbeat can be so being overly friendly and happy can result in people backing away from you slowly!

Genuine, practical positivity is about taking a level headed positive view on the world and the likely outcome of events and sharing that with others.

Until next time; be positively successful!

Stephen Hart

Coach, Trainer, Public Speaker

stephen.hart@edenchanges.com

+44 (0) 1757 249 380

With thanks to Katanaz-Stock for the excellent photograph; used with thanks.

Time Management Tips

Good time management is more than a useful work skill, it’s a life skill.

With good time management you can achieve more, see more and do more in your life than you would otherwise have been able. For me when I realised that I decided to make it a skill that I would always seek to improve upon and ultimately master. The further I travel on that particular path of learning the bigger and more fundamental the topic seems to me.

Many people feel’s it’s simply a matter of have a good diary system and that’s certainly an element of it but it’s much more about you and your personality than you might at first realise.

It’s not about time - that heading is the heart and soul of real time management  – it isn’t about time. It’s about what you do with the time you have; it’s about event management.

What events, in what order and how many of them will you chose to do in the time available. That’s nothing to do with time. No one, (excepting the Doctor with his handy Tardis) can give you more physical time. We all have the same amount. The challenge is what you do in the time available; that’s event management.

Once you really take that onboard you will stop looking at the clock and start looking at what needs to be done.

Oh and the real sting in the tail is this – it’s not about event management either. . .but what it’s really about is either staring you in the face right now and you are nodding with new found wisdom or you’ll have to come on an Edenchanges time management course to find out. . .sorry but we can’t just give all the family silver away in a free blog!

Brigid was right - I had a friend at school who is sadly no longer with us but going back to a happier point in her life she was quite simply brilliant at school. Five ‘A’s at A level back when you had to get special permission to even sit five A levels! I was with her in six form and I asked her how she did it. She explained that every night; not some nights but every night, she would go home and work for one to two hours on her homework or classwork. Simple as that she said; steady, consistent work.

Now I know she was also gifted but equally I have learnt from observation, research and personal experience that nothing gets a large task done as efficiently or effectively as steady, consistent work.

And this ties very tightly into the next two points. . .

Start early and have a pre-deadline - People talk a lot of rushing at the end, getting things done for the deadlines or just after and sweet talking their way into that being acceptable. This is not effective, or stress free event management. Following the two tips – start early and have a pre-deadline – takes out the stress and provides you with more opportunities to produce quality work. . .let me explain. . .

Typically people know how long it will do to complete a task, whether it is phoning a list of people or writing a blog etc By starting early you are in fact aiming to finish early. It is not about aiming to hit the original deadline but about finishing before the original deadline. You do it to give yourself time for overruns and unforeseen happenings and when you do finish earlier than the original deadline you get to feel great and then fit something else into your schedule!

The pre-deadline is a deadline that you personally decide you want to finish by. It’s the point in time which you are working to with your steady, consistent work. Consider any top sports person and you will see that they have been working steadily and consistently towards their peak performance over a long time. Staying with the sports people for a second and consider that they need to be match or game ready before the game – not atthe game. Pre-deadlines again.

A further note combining the above three points – is that by starting early it means that you can put in steady, consistent work over a period of time. This allows for reflection and review as you progress. In the times in between direct work on the task you can give it thought and consideration. This has to be a good thing surely because after all the more thought you put into things typically the better they become.

You also have the option of spending more time on the project if you chose as you have time before the main deadline. Once you are in the last minute it’s too late!

 Time = quality – again following on from the above (real time / event management is a blend of skills and principles rather than separate points) typically the more time you put into something the better the quality at the end. More time spent on something enables more proofing and checking. Yes you might be able to do something in five minutes but if you can do it properly in ten minutes and brilliantly in fifteen minutes then consider what quality of result you want before you schedule time in to do it. Simply getting it done isn’t always enough.

Last thought-I’d say that how a person respects time and their schedule of work will say a lot about them as a person and their character. The last minute, ‘it will do’ people tend to do last minute it will do quality of work. That has a place in the world but it’s not the type of reputation I personally want to build. I’d rather schedule my time more cleverly, work steadily and consistently towards pre-deadlines and produce work of a higher quality.

That’s how I want to work; what about you?

Until next time; be successful,

Stephen 

Train, Coach, Public Speaker

www.edenchanges.com

Should you be interested in an innovative and effective time management course for yourself or colleagues do contact Stephen or Edenchanges by phone or email and let us know.

 

Dress to Impress

Earlier in the year I was in a meeting held by three of the most senior people at a client of mine. In the meeting the potential future managers within the business were being considered.

Various names were put forward and the last name presented was that of a particularly talented and successful individual. A conversation was then had about that person and one of the three people present, the managing director, was particularly negative about the person.

When asked the managing director said “Well for a start it would help if they looked like a manager. I don’t think I have ever seen them wear a suit jacket. When they improve their appearance then I’ll consider them as a potential manager. That’s their first step.”

To date that person has not been put on the management program that I designed and am now delivering for the company. And yes they have had the advice that they need to improve their dress code however they are choosing not to follow it. The company in turn is holding to its position of needing to; literally, see something better from the individual.

The truth of the matter is this – your colleagues, your superiors and your clients will all judge you, to some degree, on your appearance. The deeper truth is more shocking – you will judge yourself on how you look.

A business person who doesn’t care about their appearance will not care about their work. A business person who fails to consider how well presented they are for business will often fail to consider how professionally they act, talk and work.

Certainly that is the view that other business professionals will take of them.

A positive consequence of this is that you can develop your potential in business and thus influence your own career and earning potential by motivating yourself through your own dress code.

If you really are a business professional then show that to the world and most importantly . . . dress to impress yourself.

Until next time;

Stephen

Coach, Trainer, Public Speaker

www.edenchanges.com

(0) 1757 249 380

PS In case anyone is worried I checked with my client before sharing this story! All work done by Edenchanges is done in the utmost confidentiality.

Photography by Ksenia Korneychuk with thanks.

Four Management Tips

“Space is big, really big. You might think it’s a long way down to the shops but that’s just peanuts to space.”

So the late, great Douglas Adams wrote in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. He was writing about space but equally he could have been writing about management.

The depth and breadth of management is immense and every manager in every organisation in the world is faced with their own unique challenges. Even managers in the same company face unique challenges as a result of the different individuals who make up their team.

So how do you begin to navigate through the vastness of management? Well read on for some thoughts.

Mirror view – take a good long hard look in the mirror – that’s the first person to manage; you. Consider what you need to do as a manager – co-ordinate people’s effort, motivation and behaviour. If you can do it well then you are a success; if not you fail as a manager. So who better to start with than the person you have the most control over?

By taking into hand your own character and personality and ensuring you do all you are supposed to do you will learn a lot about managing other people. Consider that versions of the temptations and weaknesses that inflict you will also be in them.

It also has another benefit:

Be an example – to effectively manage you need to be an example of the standards you are expecting. Few things breed discontent faster than a manager who says one thing and then does another. In the management coaching and training I have done the best teams learn, through observation, from each other.

So the second benefit of managing yourself first is that by doing that you will automatically become more like the positive example you want to be.

Whatever type of example you set your people will learn from it. You therefore must be the example you want them to be.

24/7 – Following on from the above the tough news is that your example needs to be constant. In the same way that you get paid to be a manager for the full time you are at work you are required to be an example the full time you are there.

As a manager you are in the spot light constantly; your behaviour is being judged and commented on. Not acting like a manager for a morning or a day, for whatever reason, will weaken your image and damage your authority.

Moving up the career ladder does certainly demand more from you!

Consistency – The best managers are consistent in their actions and reactions. If you want to ruin the morale of a team simply set them a task, have it started then cancel it and start another one. Do that a few times without good reason and you will see morale drop through the floor.

As a manager therefore you need to be consistent with your plans – ensure they are followed out and run the full course. Additionally your reactions to news, both good and bad, should be consistent. People are uncomfortable with unpredictability especially in those they report to.

Being consistent in your reactions will make you more approachable and will enhance communication in the team. This isn’t to say that you don’t ever change direction but rather that you don’t change casually or randomly.

In some ways a manager does not have the ability to be as free with their feelings as others. You are given greater responsibility and remuneration and have greater career potential than those that work for you. This comes with a price – you must control your actions and think them through more.

I believe the above points go close to the heart of the topic of management and whilst there is much more that could be said I trust the above advice will act as a starting point to help you manage more successfully!

Until next time

Stephen Hart

Illustration by MoonChilde; with thanks.

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For further information on management contact Edenchanges. We offer a very successful range of management training and coaching services which are suitable for any organisation looking to sharpen up its people’s management skills. For further information contact us via the details below.

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Contact Us Now

We would be delighted to discuss your management training needs so call us, or email us, today to discuss:

International: +44 1757 249 380 UK: 01757 249 390

Email: enquiries@edenchanges.com

Take Action

“The world can only be grasped by action not contemplation.”

Jacob Bronowski

I’m a great believer in planning. Setting goals and objectives that can then be constructively worked towards is really important for obtaining success in life.

But Jacob Bronowski was right. Action not contemplation seizes the world.

Whatever plans you have you must put them into action. Taking the first step on a new plan or the next step on an old plan can mean the difference between achievement and mediocrity.

I’m assuming your in business to be a success; to succeed. Well climbing the business ladder has to be done through hard action.

The old wisdom goes make sure you are climbing the right ladder and I’d certainly agree. But once you have identified which ladder you should be climbing then CLIMB!

Regards

Stephen Hart

Coach, Trainer, Public Speaker

Photograph from the talented Jade Macalla with thanks

Monday – The Race Begins

It is a common practice to gripe about Monday mornings. The weekend is over and work has begun. I’ve known people who could spend all of Monday and some of Tuesday complaining about it!

And those were average people who got average results.

Now I don’t know about you but I want to be above average; indeed I want to excel at what I do.

So as I sit in my office this Monday morning I am making a mental effort to see today, and this week, in a new, positive, powerful way. The analogue from the world of sports that comes to me this morning is that the week is really like a relay race. Each day is a circuit, or lap, that leads into the next.

When I train time management I talk about the important of setting your diary and desk up for the following day before you leave the office. This means that in the mornings you can walk in and immediately start working without any delay.

In a relay race handing over to the next runner is the key moment when time is lost or saved. So right now plan that this evening, before leaving work, you will set your desk up for tomorrow. Plan to be efficient.

And this week consider it a race. Each day linking into the next day and each day empowering the next one. Know your goal for the end of the week and race towards it as successful as you can.

After all, you are doing what you do for a living. It pays for all the down time and fun – so race through the week, excel and succeed and then celebrate at the weekend!

Have a great week.

Stephen Hart

Trainer, Coach, Public Speaker

Career Success Points

Two questions for you. . .

 

“In business, how successful do you want to be?”

And;

“How will you know when you get there?”

 

The above two career coaching questions represent the classic argument that if you don’t know where you are going then frankly how are you going to get there?

It is a very valid argument and you need to address it at some point if you are serious about your career. Unfortunately many people find it too big an issue to address and consequently brush it aside. Let me help you break it down into something more manageable.

The simplest way to do this is to change the time scale of the first question. Instead of thinking about the whole of your career consider a much shorter time span, for example this year, next year, or your next review date.

Alternatively consider it in terms of how successful you want to be in your current role or in your current company. Your current role is your next opportunity to be a success. Even if what you do isn’t what you want to do long term a success in your role now can only help your long term ambitions.

So shorten the time scale of the question based on your current situation and rephrase it to “By the end of that time how successful do I want to be?” Avoid allowing yourself the luxury of giving an answer like “Very” or “As successful as I can be” And that’s where the second question helps.

Asking yourself ““How will I know when I get there?” forces you to come up with something definitive. Job titles are the easy answer that people typically give but there are other answers that might be more relevant for you. Also job titles can be a dead end in business. I know plenty of managers who don’t manage anyone and sales managers who don’t sell.

Deeper, arguably cleverer answers might well then be event related. Such things as setting sales records, getting an industry award or achieving a high customer satisfaction rating. Events like that are the real signs of work success and are very powerful steps towards shaping a successful career.

The key is knowing what level of success you want and knowing how you will measure that. Aim over the short term and each time you achieve your career success point set your next one. This way you will enjoy a progressive career where you chart out each step.

Yours

Stephen Hart

Coach, Trainer, Public Speaker

Based in the UK and Working Globally

The Art of Silence in the Corporate World

Silence is your secret weapon in the corporate world.

Senior managers and directors, contrary to what many inexperienced business people feel, want their people to say less.

What they would really like is for their people to say the right thing, then go and do it!

We live in a world of information overload and time is being squeezed from all directions. In the corporate world less is truly more when it comes to business people chattering away.

Yet silence is something that a lot of people struggle with; equating silence with weakness. With many people thinking, “if I was really sharp and clever I’d always have something to say. People expect people to talk so I’d better say something. . .”

Sadly the consequence of this is a litany of pointless, half hearted and half thought through statements that doesn’t aid the situation at hand but rather obscures it. Worse still some of those half baked statements then get acted upon with, shall we say, questionable results!

So let’s explore this issue and see if indeed there is strength, and wisdom, in silence. . .

When no one is listening say nothing

 There are occasions where you will have something to share that actually no one else cares about hearing. It might be that you would have an audience later but at that moment in time people really are doing other things and don’t want to hear what it is you have to say. This is definitely a moment to remain silent.

Sure it can be disappointing. you have something you want to share but communication is about timing as well as content. If your current audience doesn’t want to hear right now perhaps they will later. And if not then find a different audience for that discussion.

Create space for ideas to grow

I’ve been in lots of board meetings where people clearly felt the need to quick fire ideas.  Now there is a place for that. And there is also a place for sitting there and thinking through the ramifications of ideas, taking ideas mulling them over and then putting forward a view.

In my experience managing directors and CEO’s would rather hear a great idea in a moment or two than an average idea instantly.

Have the strength to say that you are thinking through a point. You will be respected for that.

Control the situation

Being silent can give you control of a situation. By being silent you often force other people to speak. This can result in them saying more than they intended. This then give you more information to work with. Also it gives you a change to time your comments more effectively.

Also assuming you can be comfortable in your silence you will give off a thoughtful air and one of mastery of the situation. The other person, who is jabbering away, is the person people will perceive as weak or flustered.

Enables you to actively listen

One of the first thing you learn as a business coach is to stay silent whilst the other person is speaking. You are taught this for a number of reasons and one of the key ones is it enables you to listen properly. Proper listening, or active listening, is really focusing on what the person is saying, and not saying. By intentionally being silent, you can concentrate on actively listening to their words, tone, pitch andthe other subtle verbal clues they will be giving off.

Equally you will be able to observe their body language, possibly giving you a truer meaning of their statements than their words alone!

 In summary

I hope you can see that there is strength and wisdom in moments of silence. A few seconds can be all it takes to turn what would have been an average thought into a brilliant one. Give yourself that time. Impress your bosses and achieve your potential! 

Until next time

Stephen Hart

Trainer, Coach, Public Speaker

Based in the UK; Working Globally

Thanks to Natasaa for the photo 

http://natasaa.deviantart.com/

Great Careers Do Not Just Happen

It’s 6am on a Wednesday morning as I type this. The spell checker is telling me that my spelling is rubbish at this time of the morning but I guess that’s why it’s there. So as I am challenged to spell at this hour I want to challenge you for a second – think of some famous people; go on, I’ll wait. . .

Now if I join in I can think of Neil Armstrong – first man on the moon, Lance Armstrong – seven times winner of the Tour de France, Sir Alan Sugar – British business man, Madonna – career musician and pop star. . .here’s another question. . .what do they have in common?

The answer could be long and rambling but let’s keep focused and sum up the biggest thing they have in common – persistence.

You see the success that they all have, and the fame, has come as a result of their persistence. They have struggled up slowly to a level of success and then they have improved upon it. Madonna can be put forward as one of the most clever and business minded of all modern pop stars. She reinvents herself to not only keep up with new generations of singers but often to set an example for them to follow.

Lance Armstrong became one of only three men to win the Tour de France five times then, despite injury and illness, achieved something no one else had done before or since; a sixth and then a seventh win of the Tour.

Ask Sir Alan about how well Amstrad did in the 80’s and he might wince a little at the remembrance of tough times. Yet now he is known the world over as a business leader and his fortune has returned.

Oh and that just leaves Neil Armstrong; in some ways the most famous man in the world. Neil had a successful career prior to being picked for the space program. Then he was selected for a program where only the very best of the best were being selected. He had to again persist in his efforts to do everything right, to have the right attitude and to achieve beyond expectations. By again doing this he became the first human being to set foot on the moon.

So all of the above might leaves us, mere earth bound people, wondering something. Wondering where our persistence might take us. But in fact I think that is the wrong question. I think a more powerful question for us should be this – what would that persistence look like in our lives?

For Lance it would have been getting up early every morning and going for training rides. For us perhaps it is getting up early and starting work before others. Or perhaps it is finally learning to take control of our daily schedule, or reading more. Whatever it is, surely if we can recognise it then we can start to do it.

It’s now just after 6.35am as I come to the end of this blog. I’m going to get some coffee and then start on my list of things to achieve today. For me that’s about being persistent. For you what would persistency be?

Regards

Stephen Hart

Trainer, Coach, Public Speaker

The Opportunity is Now

I have a number of clients who wanted my advice on how to make it through this recession. As a trainer naturally my thoughts turn to education and the up-skilling of an organisation’s workforce and management.

I take the simply view that given there are fewer clients and those that there are out there are being more selective the answer lies in each worker being the best. Now I’m sure you are thinking that that doesn’t make sense as you can only have one person being the ‘best’ in any group. But that’s when compared to others. Each person can be the best that they are capable of being.

The challenge for us all , and we are all in this, is to realise that what we did last week, last month or last year isn’t good enough now. We need to be better, more professional, more diligent and generally sharper and cleverer than we were a year ago. If we do that then we will be rewarded in double measure.

First not only will we survive these difficult times but secondly, and this is where the opportunity lies, when the recession ends those who have consistently worked to their best will have learnt fabulous habits that will enable them to go on and be spectacularly successful in the easier times. Think about your profession and what you do on a daily basis. Do you daily strive to be the best? Now is the time to learn new, powerful work habits.

The time is now to be the most dynamic, most reliable and most positive that you can be. Not only will your current employer recognise that, which gives you security in the short term, but your reputation will grow. You will be more likely to be headhunted, promoted or simply become more attractive as a candidate when you chose to step out into the job market. And in the meantime you will survive these trying times.

So believe it and set yourself up for future success; the opportunity is now!

Best regards

Stephen Hart

Trainer, Coach, Public Speaker

With thanks to Michael Sherman who raised a question on Linkedin that sparked this blog.

The Redundancy Escape Plan

Part Four in the Surviving Redundancy blogs

So now you have told your family that you have been made redundant and the emotional shock is, mostly, behind you. What happens next?

The answer is simple – you plan.

You draw up a plan of attack to save yourself, and your family, from the situation that you have been thrust into. Your plan should cover a number of areas:

Budgeting – if you haven’t done it before then now is the time to draw up a monthly budget so that you and your partner know where the money you do have is going to be spent. Be realistic and record everything. You might find it useful to see this blog Stemming the Flow where I outline some budget writing ideas.

Economising – no one likes to do this but your income just got seriously reduced so now is the time to cut out the non essentials. If the pain of giving something up is too much then consider cutting down. Bear in mind that retail therapy has a time and a place but now isn’t it! Remember that hopefully you are only going to have to do this for a short time.

In case anyone is confused the difference between budgeting and economising is that budgeting is the recording, in advance, of what money is going to be spent and where; economising is agreeing to spend less on things.

Job hunting – You need a job and probably sooner rather than later. However it pays to sit down and think through exactly what kind of job you want. Rushing into something now might mean further upset down the road as you struggle with a job you hate. So give some serious thoughts to what you want to do next. I have an e-book titled “How to Succeed at Job Hunting” which will be available soon – more news on that when it is ready.

Good times – So you’ve done the serious tasks of economising, budgeting and job hunting take some time to consider that life goes on. You should take some time out to plan some fun things. You might find that by not being able to purchase a ton of new things to entertain yourself frees you to enjoy some of the other things in life.

Consider how you can spend quality time with the people in your life. Does being redundant mean that you are now home with your partner? Then use some of the time, when not job hunting, to do things together. Go for walks, visit art galleries and museums or simple sit and talk in the comfort of your own home.

Is now an opportunity to do some small household tasks or spring clean the house? Do you have an attic or garage that could do with a clear out? You might indeed find some things to sell on sites like ebay as you clear things out!

I leave it to you to consider how you can spend your time. You might not have a job right now but you do have a life. I encourage you to turn your situation into as positive an experience as you can whilst at the same time you plan your way forward.

Until next time

Stephen Hart

Visibility

There is a storm raging through the business world. Large companies and small companies alike are being battered and buffeted. So what can you do to weather the storm?

Well first have a little faith. The economy will recover, industry will pick up and the job market will regrow. That’s economics for you. It never stops even though it can be a roller coaster ride sometimes!

In the meantime there are some steps you can take to avoid the worst of the storm. In this blog I want to talk about one of them, specifically; personal visibility.

This is a principle that can make or break even the best career’s yet is often overlooked even by experienced business people. The heart and sole of it is this – it doesn’t matter how good you are if no one else sees how good you are.

Let me illustrate like this – you know all those talentless people you have seen who seem to do really well? The ones who are always talking to the bosses and getting promotions for no reason that you can work out. They were visible. The bosses knew what they had done because the individuals made sure that the bosses knew.

Bosses, whether managers, directors or other title holders, like to know what people are doing. It makes them slightly uneasy when they don’t. So to have someone confirm their part in actions makes the bosses comfortable.

Further bosses are universally busy. I know it might not always look it from where you are but take my word for it they are busy! Consequently they don’t remember all the details all of the time.

So if you and Bob work on a project equally but Bob goes and chats to the boss about the project what will happen is this: The boss will remember that Bob worked on that project and you helped Bob or were involved in some way.

And this will happen not because Bob bad mouthed you but simply because Bob actually talked about the project and his involvement and you didn’t. Unfair perhaps but really all the boss is doing is filtering and storing information and they just aren’t in a position to remember everything so they tend to remember what is easy to remember and what is headlined the most. Namely Bob. Not you.

So make sure your boss knows what you are doing. Not in great detail or in a ‘kiss ass’ way but in a ‘I’m doing my job’ solid, reliable way.

The other thing you can do to really make yourself visible is go to your bosses with ideas. People doing a job often complain that they know ways that it can be done better or more efficiently. Given the economic environment efficiency is at an all time premium so go to your bosses with ideas. Especially ideas that affect things outside of your immediate area. Someone who is concerned about the company at large is always a valuable asset. And if you have ideas about improving your immediate job then absolutely go and talk to them.

Do bear in mind that possible there are reasons that things are done in a certain way so present ideas not demands. When you do, whether or not your ideas are implemented, your personal visibility will be increased. Consistently doing this will help your chances of weathering the current storm and in the future it could be a career defining habit.

Until next time;

Stephen Hart

Picture by Chaand; with thanks.

Breaking the News

Third entry in a series of blogs to help those made redundant.

So you’ve been made redundant. It’s a shock, you probably feel angry, confused and worried. Worst of all you start to wonder how you are going to break the news to your partner and family.

I’ve been there and I remember how it felt. I was more upset about how my partner would feel when I told her than I was about the news itself. I also remember the intense turmoil of indecision, of whether to call or wait until I could tell her in person .

For me then; and it’s my advice today; don’t ring and tell the news. This is the type of news that should be given in person so that you can provide some comfort.

The only time I would suggest you ring is if the person might find out from someone else. It might be that you have a neighbour who works in the same company who might tell his partner; who might tell yours. In that instance I would suggest calling.

Whether over the phone or in person I would tell the news at the first opportunity. It isn’t going to get easier if you delay and  frankly, there is no good time to share this type of information.

What I would do is ensure that you and your partner are in a position to speak openly and freely. This is a conversation that might get emotional and that’s okay. You simply need to ensure that people have the space to vent their feelings.

Consequently I would try to have the conversation without children present and with as little chance of them interrupting as possible. I’m not a big fan of television for children but this is one of those times where putting on a film for them would be ideal.

If you come home and have to create the above space to speak then simply tell your partner that you have something serious to talk about and you want to do it without interruptions. To any children, explain that you need a few minutes to talk to mum or dad about some grown up stuff and please would they not interrupt you.

Once you have the space, give the news simply and directly. Tell them the outcome: redundancy – and then give them the all details as you have them. It’s bad news no matter how you spin it and whilst being made redundant can be a great career move (more on that in a later blog) at the time it only feels like bad news.

Do expect your partner to get upset and it’s okay to get upset yourself as you share the news. Find a common strength to go on. I know that many people, especially men of an older generation, were brought up not to show emotions. Nonsense I would say. Feel the pain, empathise with your partner and remember that no one has died. You still have a future and what you can take from this event is a desire to move forward into the future together.

Once you have shared the news with your partner decide how and when you are going to tell the children or other involved parties.

And once all the news sharing has been done I would suggest taking some time out to all be together. Have a family meal, play a game, watch a movie or simply sit and talk about other things. Find strength and comfort in each other.

Tomorrow is another day and tomorrow is when you can plan the rest of your future.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

This is the third in a series of blogs aimed at helping people who are facing redundancy. The other two were Surviving Redundancy and Marshalling Your Resources. All can be found in the Surviving Redundancy catagory.

Defining Beauty

Have you ever seen, or met, a natural leader – someone who had that pure leadership quality?

I have had that privilege; not often but I have had it. Those people make you stop in your tracks and take note of them. Now let me ask you. . .

Have you ever seen a beautiful man or woman? The type of natural beauty that stops you in your tracks and takes your breath away?

I hope so, for your sake I really hope so, for it’s a wonderful moment when it happens.

But do you realise that the beauty that stopped you in your tracks might have failed to turn my head even a little?  Your vision of loveliness might well be of no interest to me.

And here is the really interesting part: you could eulogise about your beauty, you could describe her in exquisite detail and wax as lyrical as Shakespeare and you probably wouldn’t change my mind.

This stems not from stubbornness on my part but rather from the fact that some things are defined by the observer and some things truly defy definition.

Beauty, like leadership, is one of those indefinable things. Just as you can recognise beauty when you see it you can also recognise leadership when you come across it.

Definition, not recognition, is the challenge.

This means that learning how to be a good leader is very difficult. Normally to learn a skill or a topic you break down the activity into its component parts and practice those, slowly evolving a procedure that blends all the components into the desired skill or topic. Naturally this means if you can’t come up with the component parts it makes it very difficult learning to learn the skill or activity.

And frankly this is where many ‘leadership’ courses go wrong. They attempt the impossible by creating a list of characteristics that people should adopt to become a ‘leader’.

Like specifying the characteristics of ‘natural beauty’, this is a flawed activity, as everyone’s definition will be different. Each leader needs to tap into their own strengths and decide how to use them effectively.

So is there hope or have I written this simply to pass on bad news? Well those who know me or have read my previous blogs will know that I attempt always to be positive so yes, I have an idea about learning, and developing, your leadership ability.

Consider that whilst all leaders have different personal attributes they all share one thing; they are all examples of something. The thing or attribute that they are an example of varies, it might be  ‘grace under pressure’, or ‘courage in the face of the enemy’ but the result is that their followers, those people who let themselves be led or influenced by the leader, see them as an example of something positive.

So consider your situation – in your assigned position what would you like your followers to do? Identify that and you identify what you need to be an example of.

I do a lot of work in the sales world where a sales manager’s first and most important job is universally to ensure sales are made. A sales manager must therefore be an example of a sales man. When he demonstrates that, (and how to do that will vary from role to role) he will be a leader to those on his team. So step one on your journey to being a leader is to identify what you need to be an example of.

Very likely in fact there will be a number of things you need to be an example of. It might be that your first step is to ask your team. What would they like to see you doing or getting involved in? Once you have a list of things I would approach it in the same way as any personal development; I would recommend that you develop each of those areas individually over time.

After all becoming a leader is a process not an event.

And when you see a beautiful person don’t try to break down the experience into components – simply enjoy the moment!

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Picture by Scott Nathan – with thanks.

Marshalling Your Resources

Companies don’t want to make people redundant. That’s never their aim. Circumstances force them to do so. Consequently many companies will be sympathetic to workers and want to help them.

Even in the unlucky event that a company doesn’t appear to want to care you should be able to find sympathetic people within the organisation who can help you.

As mentioned in Surviving Redundancy one of the first this things you must do is ask your company what support they can provide. In particular find out how long you can keep any company equipment such as phone, car, laptop etc.

This is one of those times where, assuming your really need it, I’d be perfectly willing to beg, please and call in favours. Once when I had been made suddenly redundant I found myself being asked to clear my desk and leave immediately.

As this happened at the height of summer I had the usual personal items plus a large desk fan that I had brought in myself. Not really wanting to carry this armful of items home on the bus I asked the divisional director, who had just made me redundant, for money for taxi fare – he obliged.

It’s a small example, and I’m not saying tap your boss for a loan, what I’m saying is call in favours if it is going to help you. Ask to keep the car for another week; to help you get to interviews or ask to use laptop to produce your cv.

Looking at the bigger picture coaches, like myself, and career management firms are available for hire by companies to provide support and advice to people who have been made redundant. If your company hasn’t brought in someone then suggest they do. Also if your company has one, talk to your human resources department about helping you start your job hunting.

Again if the company officially won’t help you speak to people within the business if looking for career advice ask one of the directors or senior managers if they would be willing to help you. If typing and laying out a CV is a problem then see if you can find a sympathetic administrator or secretary.

The simply fact is that you are in a crisis situation and you need to marshal your resources to help you come out a winner. So start with those resources immediately to hand – your company.

In my next blog on redundancy I will talk about how to bring the news of your redundancy  home- that will appear later this week.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Picture by kind permission of Amanda Jones

Surviving Redundancy

Redundancy is a plague that is sweeping the country. Companies make the headlines but it’s the people that suffer.

This is the first in a new series of twice weekly blogs in which I will be outlining strategies for surviving redundancy.

To begin at the beginning let me empathise with you. I can remember vividly each time I was made redundant. The shock and numb disbelief, the crushing realisation that despite being good at my job and working hard circumstances outside of my control had taken it away from me.

After the shock of the announcement two things always hit me. First, how was I going to tell my wife and second, how was I going to pay the bills?

What I have learnt over time, and it’s really the first lesson I would share with you, is it’s okay to have these feelings. It’s okay for a mature man, or woman, to be upset about losing their job and to be worried about what is going to happen next.

So be upset, be angry, hate the injustice and feel those feelings but don’t, and this is important, don’t let them blind you to the practical tasks ahead.

The very first practical task is to find out the exact details of your redundancy. When is it happening, how much will you be paid and when will you receive payment. And if you are in possession of company equipment e.g. car, laptop or phone you need to find out how long you can keep possession of those.

You should find out that information at the time they announce your redundancy. Make sure you get specific details. You want to know exact dates and amounts. Remember to always be professional and polite and consider if the person making the announcement is the right person with whom to discuss the decision. It might be that they are only the messenger not the decision maker.

Further to the previous point, if you ask the questions listed below consider who else you could ask. It might be that you personally know other senior people in the business who could help you. This is all about your future after all so consider all angles.

If you didn’t find this blog until after you had been made redundant there is no reason why you shouldn’t go back to your company and ask the following questions:

1. Why is this happening specifically to me?
2. How could the decision be overturned?
3. What circumstances would need to exist to have the decision overturned?
4. How far back would it be possible to delay the redundancy date?
5. What other roles are available within the company / group?
6. Who can I get a good reference from?
7. What support will you give me?

The harsh fact of your situation is that your income has ended yet your bills are ongoing. This is a crisis situation and you need to maximise all your resources. Your biggest resource at this moment, even though it might not feel like it, is your current company.

It’s going to feel lousy, you’ll be angry, worried and anxious for the future. That’s normal and healthy. Let yourself feel those emotions with out recrimination and make sure you ask the practical questions listed above to make your situation as informed as possible. Knowledge is power after all.

In the next blog, on redundancy – Marshalling Your Resources I discuss the types of support that your company can provide and in the blog after that I will discuss the really hard part – letting your partner and family know what has happened.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Picture by demostheses with thanks

Sphere of Influence

Before I put my cards on the table and tell you what this blog is about let me ask you a favour…once I’ve told you please keep reading because whilst it’s a topic that’s been done to death in a hundred books and far too many web articles I’ve got a point to make that might just help you…

So cards on the table…this blog is going to be about networking – business networking in particular and about a mistake that I know quite a few people are making…

To illustrate the networking mistake let me describe an old networking game that has been around as long as networking itself…namely the ‘business card collection game’.

In this game when you attend a business exhibition or a networking event the aim is to collect as many business cards as possible. Very simply the person who collects the most cards wins.

The idea behind the game was to prompt people who were nervous about networking and changing cards to do just that; collect them. And it works. It works in so far as as you end up with a collection of cards. But what value do those cards have? How much actual business value did you get from winning the business card collection game?

I’ll answer that question in a minute but first I want to fast forward to the present day and look at the modern version of the business card game.

Today a lot of networking is done online either more casually through sites such as Facebook or Bebo or more formally through Linkedin and it’s ilk. On these sites it is relatively easy to increase your network numbers and this can give the fantastic impression that your influence, and your business, is expanding. It’s also tempting, and I know people who do this, to boast and brag about the number of people in your network. And this is where the mistake lies.

Yes the point of networking is about numbers but not just any numbers. It’s not actually about the  number of people that you have the name of but rather the numbers of people you know. And even that doesn’t take it far enough because effective networking is about how many people you know who you can influence.

When I say influence I mean people who you can call upon to do something for you whether that is give you advice, meet you, purchase from you etc. Now for you to be able to influence someone you have to have some relationship with the person.

I am sure all of you reading this can realise that sending someone an invitation to connect with you via Linkedin doesn’t form a very deep relationship. It actually has to be followed up with real communication.

So don’t be misled by the numbers of names that you have; focus rather on increasing your sphere of influence by communicating with people and helping others.

Good luck increasing your sphere of influence!

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Photograph by Michael Lazich and used by kind permission. His other work can be seen at http://exciter69.deviantart.com/

Stepping off the roof

This is a blog entry for anyone who is in business or sports who wants to move themselves forward in their careers.  I am going to highlight one of the most important personal attributes that you need to cultivate in order to be success in your career.

I’m going to highlight this attribute by citing the example of Peter Petrelli, a fictional character in the television show Heroes. Now I suspect many of you will have seen this show however, for those of you haven’t or for those of you who have forgotten the very beginning of the show, let me describe the situation…

Peter Petrelli was a man who was having dreams, visions even, of being able to fly. These visions became more and more real until finally Peter made his way to the top of an apartment block and, standing on the edge of the roof, he paused, clearly deliberating over the dilemma of having enough faith in his visions to risk everything or to playing it safe.

After what seems like an eternity of deliberation he steps off the roof…

Now for two reasons I’m not going to say what happens next to peter – first I’m not going to spoil such an excellent show for you if you haven’t seen it and secondly what happens to Peter isn’t relevant to this blog!

What is relevant is the faith that Peter had in what would happen next. He believed he had the ability to fly, he had faith that he was special and that he could do incredible things.

For you to have a serious chance to develop your career you have to have faith in yourself. You have to have faith that you can learn what you need to learn to take the next step. You have to have faith that you have the ability to grow as a person to face the challenges that promotion would bring.

If you lack faith in yourself you will not seek out opportunities because you will not believe yourself capable of dealing with them. Other people will recognise this hesitation in you and not trust you with new opportunities or new challenges.

Study great, successful men and woman in sports, politics or business and you will find that they all had faith in themselves. A few modern examples include Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Pele, Margaret Thatcher, Sir Alan Sugar, Sir Richard Branson… and the list goes on.

Indeed it has been my experience, and it is certainly my belief, that all truly successful people had faith in their abilities long before anyone else did. Their faith made other people believe in them. Their faith created opportunities they were able to utilise to further their careers.

My suggestion to you then is this:

Think hard about how much faith you have in your innate abilities and learn to cultivate and grow that faith daily through positive actions.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Perfection is Flawed

As a business coach I am going to recommend that you don’t strive for perfection. That in fact the quest for perfection is a fool’s quest and should be abandoned immediately!

Now the reason behind my thinking is very simple…perfection itself doesn’t exist.

It’s an illusion, a concept that can not be given actual form in the real world.

In the world of mathematics you might be able to have the perfect answer to a question but in the arena of human endeavours perfection ceases to be a real possibility. After all however good someone becomes someone else can always improve on it.

And worse than that very often how well someone has done something or how good something is literally no more than a matter of opinion.

So if perfection isn’t the goal what should be? Try excellence.

Now yes, excellent is another concept, another idea that within the field of human endeavours is hard to positively identify. However, and it is an important however, this time it is possible to more accurately measure it.

I can, for example, recognise an excellent sales pitch when I hear it. And I can even write down what would constitute an excellent sales pitch and train someone else to recognise it. I couldn’t however describe a perfect sales pitch. There is always something that could have been changed or altered.

So, assuming you want to excel in your career, whatever field of business that might be in, may I recommend you focus on being excellent. This is something that can be reached, a solid goal that is worth pursuing.

I could end this blog on that note but I would rather give you something in addition to theory. Something that you can put into action. So in brief let me outline your first three steps on the road of career excellence:

1. Commit to the task – commit to the challenge of being excellent at what you do for a living. It might sound obvious but that psychological commitment is the first real step – just as proposing is the first real step of commitment prior to a lifetime of marriage!
2. Identify the first action -here I can’t be more specific as it depends on what you want to excel at – you need to identify the first definitive piece of action that you need to take – it might be asking to work with a particular person, or purchasing a ‘how to’ manual, or subscribing to a blog or newsletter…whatever it is you need to identify the first action
3. Take action - this is where most people fail – they go through the theoretical steps listed above but then fail to take real action – they fail to do anything real…so take action by doing the action you identified at point 2 above!

A quick warning for those of you who heed the above advice…please realise that excellence is a long journey and it requires determination, persistency and a constant desire to excel. You do not become excellent at anything by only doing something once!

To balance of my warning the good news is that whilst excellence is a journey  many of the rewards you will receive will come from the journey itself even before you become truly excellent!

So take that first step and commence the journey.

Good luck.

Until next time;

Stephen

Stephen Hart

Career Polish

Career Polish

I rather like it when advice you get from your parents turns out to be true. It gives me a warm feeling to know that it was from my dad or from my mother. It puts a smile on my face and it makes the sharing of the advice that much sweeter.

And today I would like to share some career advice that I received many moons ago from my dad…

When I was growing up my dad, who worked in pensions and investments, would always tell me how important it was in business to polish your shoes.

He would recount stories of eager young sales people who would come in for interviews with expensive suits and firm handshakes. He would tell in great detail the exact moment when those people failed to make the right impression. The moment that the interviewer looked down and saw their shoes…

When I think back to when my dad first told me those tales I remember being inspired to polish my school shoes and more than that I believed that he had given me an advantage over my peers and that I must remember the lesson for the years ahead.

Well the years passed and as a typically cynical teenager I rebelled against a lot of good advice yet somehow I could never quite shake my faith in the polishing advice. Not that I did it all the time of course but rather the feeling that it was good advice was always in me, even when I failed to act on that feeling!

Towards the end of my teenage years I did wonder if the advice was a little old school. Whether in this modern age something like polished shoes would really be taken into account when considering the suitability of a talented young person.

That was quite a few years ago now and the millennium has come and gone and now I’m a business professional in my own right with, amongst other experience, almost a decade in the recruitment and headhunting world. And you know what…my dad was right.

I’ve heard from countless CEO’s and MD’s of multi million pound international companies over the last decade who tell me that one of the signs of a true business person is a pair of well polished shoes.

And it’s not only the ’silver haired’ brigade who thinks this. I know several wealthy entrepreneurs aged under 35 for whom polished shoes indicates an individual who is both serious about business and has an eye for detail.

It has also been said to me by several managing directors that polished shoes in a candidate is a mark of respect towards the interviewing company, a way of saying ‘I respect you and your business enough to make an effort to look my best.’ and the message the interviewers read into this is ‘if they can make an effort like that about their appearance probably they will make a great effort about their jobs.’

I think the reason that my faith in my dad’s advice never truly wavered during my teenage years was that it always felt so good, so diligent and just so right when I did actually pick up the polish and a cloth and shine my shoes. The proof was in the pudding as they say.

So if you are not moved by my retelling of my dad’s advice let me set you a challenge. Tonight go home from work and polish your shoes.

Polish them really well and leave them out by the door that you will leave your home from tomorrow. In the morning see how it feels when you go to put them on and then, even more importantly, see how great you feel once you have put them on.

You see what I have learnt is that people notice when you have polished your shoes and people react positively to the signals that effort sends out. And one of the most important people to notice will be you.

Until next time

Stephen

Stephen Hart